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Problems Vampires Have, Page 2
This has problems pertaining to dealing with "everyday" (everynight?) things for real vampires. It can get in a light vein, but I would prefer it to be mainly enlightening (jeez, can I quit with these day puns, already???) as to actual problems that vampires have to deal with on a day-to-day (aaarrrggghhh!!!) basis.
Here's one: Not being able to complete an eye exam appointment due to the fact that the doctor would not accommodate my needs, or listen to me, or make any effort at all to work with me. And not being able to express those needs in a way which might justify my reacting the way I do/did. Oh, yes! I was just being difficult because I didn't WANT to get my eyes examined. If I wasn't willing to go through with it, -- whether I liked it or not, -- I would not have been in there at all. I knew that it would turn out the way it did.
My eyes are extremely sensitive to light, anyway. Shine a BRIGHT light directly into my eyes and they are going to squeeze shut, whether I choose to have them open or not! I know that they can be pried open (while I'm grabbing onto the chair and trying not to squirm and jerk around and growl and whimper and squeel like a caged, wild animal!*); it can and has been done. This ... individual -- I REFUSE to refer to him by any title! -- would not even give the eye-pry a try. He just said, basically, Well if you're not going to let me do this then the eye exam is over. To which I said that he would need to manually open my eyes to look at them and to put the drops in -- which sting terribly! But he refused. And his attitude towards me / having to bother with me was really rude. Downright rude and snotty.
Doctors who are rude and snotty towards patients with individual needs should not be doctors at all. They should have to quit, and be plumbers or taxi drivers or something.
I also had inquired (although it's moot at this point) about any possibility of doing the examination without administering these drops (which dilate the eyes and cause everything to be god-awfully bright to a normal person), and explained about my eyes being sensitive. He didn't care; he just asked if I'd brought a pair of sunglasses with me. -- Yes, I had. But those don't even fully compensate for normal light levels, let alone after my eyes be dilated!
I was willing to endure the eye-drops, but he wouldn't even make the effort to open my eyes to put them in. Oh, well. Appointment's over. Bye. And I'd waited something like an hour or more in the waiting room, knowing something like this would happen, but hoping that I would be helped by someone who gave a damn. Further, he tried to put it all off on me like I was just trying to be a difficult @$$hole, and do I want to take the exam or not? What did I just say to him??
*This little incident occurred when I had gone into the emergency room because my skin was breaking out (that's another story...); at that time, I'd had a speck of something that had gotten into my eye and was driving me batty. Apparently the doctor there thought that I had come in for that reason, because he was hell-bent on examining my eyes and just treated the skin-part almost as an afterthought. To make this short, they even had called the security guard in to be on standby within about 5 feet away, inside the room. I'd say that I freaked them out pretty bad because it was the beast I'm talking about here, and I know damn straight that they didn't know what in hell to make of it. (Either that, or they did know...or figured it out. Wouldn't have taken much intelligence to make the inference. Like, I come in the middle of the night wearing shades, freaking pale, dressed in black, and I start acting THAT way when they go messing with my eyes...can we say, duh!) Not normal. Heh.
Some are Funny / Some are Serious: A TopTen List (+ 1)
1.) Being trapped inside during the day because you forgot what you did with your sunglasses and sunscreen... It's happened to me twice and its a b*tch.
2.) Having people say, "Hey, don't you know it's not Halloween anymore?!?" because they think you're in costume.
3.) Having your Significant Other tell you that they don't want to share covers with you anymore because you're too cold to the touch.
4.) Having friends say, "C'mon, show us how you open those cans with your fangs!"
5.) Not being able to keep friends once they find out what you really are!
6.) Having family wanting to commit you to a mental hospital unless you grow up!
7.) Not being able to find an open blood bank when you need one. :-)
8.) ALL VAMPIRE JOKES!!!!!!!!!!
9.) Not being able to have close friends.
10.) Watching mortal loved ones waste away over the years and not being able to do anything about it. Well, nothing they would thank you for.
11.) Not being able to go to friends house for a slumber party, because the last time you went, their parents checked on you in the middle of the night and since they couldn't tell that you were breathing they thought that you were dead and called the EMS. No kidding -- this happened to me! Boy, were they shocked when I finally woke up. (I'm a real heavy sleeper!)
Contributed by DrenAnon
Annoying people who make comments like: "Hey, you really need to work on your tan." / "Is that makeup, or are you really that pale?" / "Are you sick or something?" I dunno...that stuff just really bothers me.
All the years in school (and if you have a day job) of having to put up with bright lights and morning people.
Contributed by firstname.lastname@example.org
...You have to listen to your friends telling you the same stupid vampire jokes.
Here's another one: I don't worry about wording it right now, just so I get it captured on screen! Having to cope with odd occasion when someone's not being careful when doing Prep and they slice their finger. Try continuing to go about your business because, so what? Someone cut themselves -- big deal, happens all the time, right? Ha! You are in a bind, and you really should leave the scene immediately, but of course, you don't get off for 2 more hours..."Whatdaya do, Jack? Whatdaya do?" People tend to notice that you've started acting kinda, y'know, different...
Eerie America TV Series
Eerie America could very well be called The Fodors Travel Guidebook for The Addams Family. I read some in-depth information about the show and saw the promo, and from what I can tell, this will be an absolutely AWESOME series if they can get it off the ground. (I'm actually praying they will.) Let others know and see who can help. This is something that should happen! Let's pull together and make it so!
New Orleans Vampire Association
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